Did You Know?
Suicide is increasingly becoming a fatal antidote to the problems of emptiness, pain and depression that seem to be reaching epidemic proportions in our culture. But suicide is preventable. Most suicidal persons desperately want to live. They are just unable to see alternatives to their problems. Consider these statistics regarding suicide:
- Approximately 30,000 Americans kill themselves every year. The number of suicide attempts is much greater yet and often results in serious injuries.
- Suicide cuts across all ages, economic, social and ethnic boundaries.
- Four times as many men kill themselves as compared to women, yet three to four times as many women attempt suicide as compared to men.
- The suicide rate is higher for the elderly (over 65) than any other age group.
- Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people ages 15-24, and is the eighth leading cause of death among all persons.
- Youth (15-24 years of age) suicide rates increased more than 200% from the 1950’s to the late 1970’s. Following the late 1970’s the rates for youth have remained stable.
- One adolescent attempts suicide every 38 seconds.
- One out of three adolescents (roughly 13 million) has suicidal thoughts at one time or another.
- One out of six adolescents attempts suicide before graduating from high school.Two million adolescents will attempt suicide this year.
Suicidal thinking and destructive behavior is a result of a pain-filled life. Longterm pain causes stress. Over time, stress (emotional, psychological and/or spiritual) can lead to depression. It is at this point that suicidal thinking often enters the depressed person’s thought processes. Escape from pain provides the necessary motivation. Relief becomes the primary objective.
It is estimated that 20 million Americans suffer from depression. Although it appears in women twice as often, it impacts many men as well. While frequently seen in middle age, it can occur anytime between infancy and old age. Symptoms of depression include:
- Looking tired, discouraged, dejected
- Having slow body movements, restless sleep, headaches, increasing gastric problems
- Focusing on painful thoughts, subjecting oneself to extensive pessimism, inappropriate introspection, and/or self-derogatory remarks
- Experiencing unusual anxiety, tension and restlessness, often from unknown sources
- Difficulty sleeping or a desire to sleep too much
- A general loss of interest in things that used to bring pleasure
- A recognizable change in grooming or personal appearance
What Can You Do To Help?
Most suicidal persons give definite warning signs to their suicidal intentions, but others are either unaware of the significance of these warnings or do not know how to respond to them. If you suspect someone of suicidal tendencies, trust your suspicions. Take the danger seriously. Your intuition is probably right. Be attentive to these common-warning signs:
- Suicide speech – Listen carefully. Take all suicidal statements seriously, including indirect statements, such as, “My family would be better off without me.”
- Prior suicide attempt – People with previous attempts are greater risks.
- Surviving family members not only suffer the trauma of losing a loved one to suicide, but also are themselves at higher risk for suicide.
- Sudden behavioral changes – Extended periods of crying, sleeplessness and loss of appetite can be warning signs. Also, drastic changes of behavior, withdrawal from friends and/or social activities, taking unnecessary risks and/or an increase in use of alcohol or drugs are all indicators of suicidal intent.
- Depression – People who have experienced a recent loss or a person who is depressed is 500 times more at risk than one who is not depressed. Individuals who are depressed often lose interest in their personal appearance and previously pleasant activities such as hobbies, work, school, etc.
- Making final arrangements – For example, giving away possessions to family members and friends, preparing for death by making out a will and final arrangements, etc.
- Isolation and withdrawal – Almost all suicides can be traced to one or more broken relationships. When relationships fail, people often isolate themselves and stop trying to have relationships.
- Extremely aggressive behavior – This reveals the amount of pent-up emotion inside a person. If large amounts of guilt also are present, aggression may be turned inward.
Care-giving Principles:
Follow these principles when reaching out to someone whom you suspect may hurt himself:
- Never promise to maintain secrecy when suicide is a concern. Bringing the situation out into the open with those who can help may prevent an attempt.
- Talking about suicide does not cause someone to be suicidal. Inquire about suicidal thoughts and feelings, and be willing to discuss them in detail. Such inquiries do not “plant the idea” of suicide in a person’s mind.
- Determine how far along he/she is in making plans for suicide. Use the acronym, S.L.A.P., to gain information:
- S – What are the specific details?
- L – How lethal is the plan (i.e. gun, pills, rope, etc.)? Firearms are currently the most often utilized method of suicide by essentially all groups (e.g., males, females, young, old, white, nonwhite) and the rates are increasing.
- A – How available is the method of choice? Where is it?
- P – What is the proximity to help? Who will find him/her? How long will it take to be found?
If the person can answer each of these questions clearly, then the risk of suicide is extremely high.
- Ask the person to repeat a promise not to hurt himself/herself for a specific period of time, and to give you possession of the means by which he/she intends to commit suicide until that time expires.
- Be sure that the person can reach you or another responsible person if the desire to commit suicide becomes strong or if he/she feels the need to talk to someone.
- Insist that he/she does have a choice. Almost always, there are healthy ways to alleviate pain. Your primary job is to provide those alternatives.
- Remember that the person threatening suicide really does not want to die. He/she wants to end the pain.
- Listen. A depressed person’s present need to be heard far outweighs the need to be taught. He/she feels alone. Your listening will begin to dispel that loneliness.
- Identify the person’s biggest problem. If the suicide risk is high, then the person’s safety is a primary objective.
- Surround the one in pain with support. Point and physically lead the person to other sources of help. Arrange for professional help if at all possible.
Do’s and Don’ts:
- Be aware. Learn the warning signs.
- Get involved. Be available. Show interest and support.
- Ask if he or she is thinking about suicide.
- Be direct. Talk openly and freely about suicide.
- Be willing to listen. Allow expressions of feelings. Accept the feelings.
- Be non-judgmental. Don’t debate whether suicide is right or wrong, or feelings are good or bad. Don’t lecture on the value of life.
- Don’t dare him or her to do it.
- Don’t give advice by making decisions for someone else.
- Don’t ask “why.” This encourages defensiveness.
- Offer empathy, not sympathy.
- Don’t act shocked. This will put distance between you.
- Don’t be sworn to secrecy. Seek support.
- Offer hope that alternatives are available but don’t offer glib reassurances. It only proves you don’t understand.
- Take action. Remove means. Get help from agencies specializing in crisis intervention and suicide prevention.
Hundreds of thousands of suicides have been prevented by caring people who listened well and gave wise counsel. Our lives must continually echo the apostle Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5:
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of all mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.